Alright Ladies! I'm about to shock all of you. In this crazy world of little girls having sex at the age of twelve and teenagers getting pregnant when they're fourteen, I managed to stay a virgin until a month before I turned twenty-one. Now I know what you all are thinking, "Bree is about to give us a big speech about how you should save yourself for the perfect person and quite possibly until marriage." This is absolutely 100% not what I am going to tell you. This is what I was told my entire life, but it didn't quite work for me that way.
Here's the back story:
In high school, I dated the same guy off and on; and even still talked to that guy once I got to college. He ended up being my first heatbreak, not not my "first". Sure he tried, but it just never felt right to me. And to his credit he never pressured me into anything. He's actually the only serious boyfriend I've had really. Our situation ended badly, and yes I did hold a grudge for a while, but now I wish him nothing but the best.
Once my high school boyfriend relationship finally ended for good, there were a couple of guys I talked to; but, nothing was ever really serious. Then I met this really nice guy. He was in college and had a job. He was family-oriented and actually wanted to get to know me. I thought I had found the "Holy Grail" at that point. There was the first kiss. I expected it to be awkward and figured that the next time would be better. I was wrong.
He asked me to come visit him and I was so excited. (It was my first overnight with a guy!!) So me trying to be responsible, brought a condom just in case. I didn't think that it would be used, but you never know.
I was right. They did NOT get used. He got sloppy drunk. I was TOTALLY turned off.
The situation just felt so wrong to me. We talked for a bit after that, and then civilly parted ways.
So for a while, I just stayed completely SINGLE. I decided that I needed to work on me and try to just be okay with myself. (Every woman needs to be okay with being alone by the way)This was a good decision for me. So I stayed single and tried to focus on what was important for me. This process probably lasted about a year.
That's when I found the guy that has changed my life permanently. He might not be the man I'm going to marry and all that, but he is a pretty good guy. We talked and hung out for a couple of weeks and had so much fun together. I decided to stay the night after I went to hangout with him one time. I knew what I was doing. We just hung out and drank a little, which is just... the thing to do in Indiana. This gave me an excuse to stay the night too. He didn't pressure me into anything. It was probably more my idea than is to be honest..... Here is the most important thing ladies... It just felt right: the timing, the situation, and everything else. It all just felt right. I will never regret him being my "first," regardless of what happens with our relationship in the future.
So I'm not going to lecture anyone. Religious views are different for each on of you! Girls are raised differently. I personally never had the sex talk with my mom. I learned everything from school, friends, and magazines. I was never the girl that vowed to stay a virgin until I was married. I never said "I am going to wait for that special person."
I have always said that I would wait until it just felt right.
I am a big believer in trusting my gut! So Ladies, go with your gut feeling!!!
A woman's intuition will rarely lead her astray.
If it feels right, do it. If it doesn't feel right, don't do it.
Just always remember that safe sex is the best sex!
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