Thursday, October 23, 2014

#BreeBaresAll -- Seasonal Depression

Summer is my absolute favorite season! I have no school (for a few weeks anyways), its warm, I can spend a lot of time outside, and it just seems to make me happier.  Even though I work more in the summer, my stress levels go way down.  I have more fun during the summer and I get to spend more time with friends too.  Summertime just seems to be filled with endless adventures and possibilities.

When I first came to Bloomington for school, I noticed that as the year went on and winter got closer I got sadder and more stressed out.  I just attributed it to not being adjusted yet and because my bestie and I went home so much I tried to ignore it.  My sophomore year, my bestie left Bloomington and went back to our home town for school.  That was a really hard on me.  It was the first time I had ever been completely on my own and away from home.  I once again just attributed my sadness and my stress level to not being adjusted to my new normal. 

My junior year was my absolute hardest year at IU.  It started off really well when I moved into my own apartment with friends.  Then school started and everything became very stressful.  I was irresponsible with money and spent way too much.  To fix this I got a job, which wasn’t really a big deal.  Then for some reason (I still haven’t figured out what) that winter I just got super depressed.  My roomies didn’t even want to be around me.  It was pretty hard to be honest.  My parents and my friends were worried about me.  I was worried about me.  I just didn’t know what to do to make myself feel better.  I didn’t feel like going to class, so I wasn’t doing so good and that made me feel worse.  I didn’t have any friends to really talk to about how I was feeling either.  I couldn’t tell anyone what was wrong because I didn’t know.  I just knew I was sad pretty much all of the time.  Then when spring came, things got better.  I started feeling happier and wanting to do things.  I went to class more and everything got better.

This year, my senior year, I was talking to my Momma around November and I just remember telling her that I felt sad and didn’t know why.  About a week later when I was talking to my Momma again I realized that I was really only sad like that during the colder months and that I also got more anxious.  Well my Momma and I decided it would be a good idea for me to go to the doctor.  I’d already previously went and talked about my anxiety issues so I knew exactly what to expect.  After talking to my doctor, she informed me that I just had seasonal depression.  As soon as she said that I remember just wanting to slap my forehead and say “Duh!!”  I couldn’t believe that I hadn’t realized this sooner.  We figured out what we thought would be best way to treat me.  After I started doing what my doctor said, which was take a pill once a day, I started feeling better.  I was happier, less stressed, and got more sleep.  I felt wonderful. 

I know a lot of people are thinking “So what?”  I just want people to know about seasonal depression.  If I would have known about it sooner or been better informed about depression, I would have had an easier time during the winter months.  And I know its summer now, but it will be winter before you know it and if you start feeling sad for no reason or if you realize that you have a similar story to mine, please go to a doctor and talk to them.  It will help so much and make life so much easier!!

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